While doing my daily scroll on Facebook recently, I kept noticing a pattern amongst many people. They were posting and sharing "feelin' cute" memes. To say I was confused, may have been an understatement. Did the world go mad? Am I exposing the fact that I live under a rock by admitting that I have no clue what that means? (ok, not really, but my kids and responsibilities do keep me pretty pre-occupied most of the time)
Why were so many people feeling cute? I asked on a post of my own, and continued to scroll, and even giggle at some of them. They were hilarious! I even found one that I could totally relate to:
And then I got my answer. It wasn't what I expected to find out, and sorta took me back a little bit. It wasn't really a laughing matter about HOW the meme came to be. It was a serious, set me back, oh my gosh moment. This is what social media has come to? Worry for my own kids, to grow up in this social media fueled society, is what flooded my mind.
If you're like me, you also didn't know what it meant.
The meme was created because people post a photo of themselves, with a tagline of "feelin cute, might delete later." then delete it later if it doesn't get enough likes or comments... What?! Yep, you heard it right. If the post doesn't meet the expectation of popularity that the person is looking for, they delete it.
Truly, this hurts my heart to hear. To know that girls, boys, men, and women are allowing other people to dictate their actions based on a few likes or comments is sad to me. It's a popularity contest. And if you let it, can tear you apart! We already live in a world where we are judged on every thing we say or do; a world where comparison creates jealousy, self-doubt, and depression. The news outlets are often reporting on teen and child suicide due to the bullying and pressure from peers. I don't imagine this new fad of "feelin' cute" has any positive contributing factors to those statistics.
I love social media, I do. I love that it gives me an opportunity to share my work, the ability to grow my business, the opportunity to connect and share my life with family and friends near and far, and the capability of finding a solution to just about every issue we encounter in our lives. How many times in a day do you use Google search? It's saved me a time or two.
But, I don't love the negativity social media can create. I am not invincible. I, too, have fallen victim to comparison on social media with my work. There have been moments where I've questioned my business because someone else is SO much better. Comparison is easy to get caught up in. What matters most is being able to remove yourself from that and understand that we are all at different points in our lives. What looks like to success to one person, may look like a set back or stalled progress to someone else.
I often wonder how life will be when my kids are old enough to delve in to the social media world. Will they make good choices? Will they let the negative side of social sharing impact their feelings of self-worth? I never want them to have to feel like they need approval from others before they approve of themselves. We've taken some small steps to implement healthy habits early on.
We limit screen time. They are young, so for now, it's fairly easy to do. Television, and tablet times are monitored and they have to ask to watch them. You may think that's odd, or harsh, but we truly believe in old school methods of hands on play and practicing patience for delayed gratification. We don't take the electronics in the car, devices aren't given for entertainment while in public settings, our phones are put away during meals, and we don't use electronics as babysitters.
{Some days I would so much like to just give the kids a movie or electronic game to keep them entertained, and give me a few extra minutes, but I don't give in. I'm the mean parent usually.}
Our kids will sometimes beg for electronics, or ask for them when they are bored, or tired of waiting on something, and during those moments, the answer is always "No". How can instant this, and instant that teach patience? If our kids have their noses buried in a tablet at the restaurant, how will they learn to socially interact? If they are given an electronic for entertainment every time they are rambunctious in public, how will they learn discipline and manners? We believe in delayed gratification versus instant, for many reasons. One reason in particular, feeling accomplished or valued often takes progression over a period of time. If we are expecting that feeling every day of our lives,or at the very moment we want to, we will more often than not, met with disappointment.
We talk about our bodies in a positive manner, using words such as strong & healthy, and we talk about good food choices as being fuel for strong minds and energy. We encourage outdoor activities; not that they need much encouragement there! They practically live outside in the Summer. And we make sure to let them know that they are free to be who they are naturally, and people will love them the way that they are. But above all that, they are encouraged to love themselves just the way that they are. They are encouraged to say how they are feeling, and their feelings are always taken seriously.
Am I saying that what you're doing as a parent is wrong? Absolutely not. This is part of our style of parenting. Every family, every situation and parenting approach is different.
Is our approach the right answer? We don't know right now. When our kids are older and can experience this modern world of instant social standards, we will find out! We can only pray that these standards, along with open communication, will transcend in to positive outcomes and choices for their teenage and adult years. And hope that when they are "feelin cute", they are confident enough to just feel it and love themselves without seeking approval of others first.
XO,
Katrina
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